The Fabric of Memory
The ‘Why’ and the ‘What’
As a Romanian-born British philosopher and photographer, having spent equal amounts of time in each country to date, the duality and dichotomy of my cultural heritage have been a continuing source of reflection and exploration in my practice.
In my project ‘The Fabric of Memory’, as I travel back to native Romania, I explore the intricate connections between the material world (nature, place, physical objects) and memory, as well as the closely-interwoven and elusive notion of home. In the words of Marcel Proust ‘The past is hidden somewhere outside the realm, beyond the reach of intellect, in some material object.’
While redefining my rapport with my childhood and adolescence homeland, I also seek an empathetic connection to older family members as individuals, rather than in their familial roles. I endeavour to remove the barriers of time and space and ‘listen’ to the voices of our younger selves. At times, behind the camera (and sometimes in front of it) stands me as a daughter, granddaughter or niece, and other times there’s me as a gentle investigator trying to make more intimate connections with these people – most no longer around – inextricably linked by genes and history.
The story I am capturing is very personal and mostly non-linear, like a stream of consciousness, an attempt to recollect a memory or the ambiguity of a dream. There is a constant dialogue between past and present, as well as a deep tension between the feelings of familiarity and those of estrangement – emerging at every step and competing for supremacy.
Henri Bergson argues that ‘The pure present is an ungraspable advance of the past devouring the future. In truth, all sensation is already memory.’ In my body of work, space (the material world – natural or built) and time (the past and the present) converge into a continuum of memory, an ambiguous expanse where it is not always clear what is ‘present’ and what is ‘past’. This is aided by the visual language, partly resulting from using only expired film and old family cameras to create new imagery.
The narrative, to some extent, is driven by place – as I travel to significant locations such as previous homes that we once lived in, education, recreation or holiday locations connected to my family history, or indeed final resting places of my departed. Outside of this geographical planning, the work is created in a very intuitive way, by allowing my non-rational self to be moved by the emotions and memories evoked once I had situated myself in these places full of personal history – a case of ‘unconscious optics’ perhaps, in the words of Walter Benjamin.
Very few of my older relatives are still alive, which adds a dimension of melancholy or sadness at times, permeating the imagery or text. This is especially true in relation to my mother, whose loss I am clearly still grieving at every step. Rather than try to stifle the mood, I embrace it and accept the direction of travel that my subconscious brain dictates.
The Book
My photo story can be accessed via a work-in-progress flip-book that is available to view HERE. Please view this in landscape orientation, preferably on a tablet, laptop or computer. The link will open in a new tab.
